I´m NOT a DUMB BIMBO to you! Need advice on change?

Today is just a talk (most for me) eye opening & hurtful vlog I've made for loooooong time and I'm sorry it's raw,uncut &un-edited! There's music as I had to use iMovie as I had to stop twice cuz I got so sad in middle of talking about what I'm going through (yes, a man....geezzz) so it's not refined (they never are though) or fun! But I hope you can recognize what I go through or you have a suggestion to me , what I can do to not making the same mistakes over & over again? I hope you'll enjoy...what an odd word to use...anywho....... I do cry in this video, sorry, now you're warned but I try to be so honest as possible towards my viewers and myself for that matter, that's reason why I didn't start over to edit/shorten etc the video, but uploaded it as IT IS! I hope I didn't poor my heart out for fun? But I KNOW I don't as I'm lucky to have YOU viewers to support & advice me every time I fuck up (sry) Thanks for watching, please please leave a message (advice),like & subscribe if you want to! Xoxo (very emotional) DealerMom Im too exhausted to writhe other info now, Ill do it later,okay, plz forgive me.